should ex lovers be friends?

I wonder why do I always have good relationship with my exes after all the issues between us is settled. We'll simply talk bout things around, ask opinions about lots of things especially about new lovers or even considering whether to accept new lovers or not! sigh~

Well, I am writing this down because the 3rd case just came in! After all it's a good thing to catch up about each other after some period of time. It's kinda reminisce old memories, the old you to be exact. But still I wonder why do we make better friends when everything is over compared to the time when were more than friends. I guess we just do good as friends. Maybe 'relationship' has brought both of us too much pressure which actually beyond our capability to deal with. Maybe it's the commitment issue, loyalty, trust and situation around oblige both of us to that not really good endings. But it's okay, I always have this one positive thinking to bear with this exes issues. Well like the one I posted in the previous post: 'ex lover : the game over story', that we have to think the positive side of everything in order to have better days ahead.

Being friends with exes is just an okay thing to me because that person might know me better than others. Even good friends should be the one who knows us in and out, but in this case of an ex, it's about some kind of different perspective. We may be a little different dealing with this two different person; a good friend and a lover. We don't aspect too much of commitment with friends compared to the commitment we entail from a person we are in a relationship with. We may share different chapter of life with this two person, even we may not be that much sensitive being with friends.

So an ex should have really different or maybe extra perspectives on our-self. Therefore being good with exes is like having extra mirror that can give us better reflection about what should we do or shouldn’t. Our weakest and strongest point. After all we also might not have that much of ego and will simply be true because everything is over, right? There’s nothing much to keep, to expect, so we will just be transparent to each other. My first one contacted me back after about 3 months we’re over. The second one took longer, about 8 months because we had a real crucial situation when we broke up. And third one is about a year after. Though we did contacted each other in between but it wasn’t really the real conversations like what we had today.

Undeniable it was little gawky at first but when we start to get comfortable and open up to each other, we did it good. We talk about common things, asking how well does each other are doing after that broke up and as we talk about life, studies, works and world around, we even jokes around about each other. We even tease each other about how we were back then when we’re in that relationship and we laugh out loud listening to each comments. We even discussed about the wrong turns we both made through out the unsuccessful relationship. We both agreed that we should take that as a lesson for guidance in the future.

From that, we can both clearly see how time has grown us up. It is so true that things happen for reason. It will somehow change us to be a better person someday. So as we joke around, we realized how childish we were those time. We say things we shouldn’t and many more things that was once a serious issue those time, but now is something that we can laugh at. Problems and issues can be jokes after some period of time. That is why when some issue occurs in the middle of my life, I will try hard to take it easy as I always remind myself that the biggest thing today is just a matter of nothing someday. So I do not want to take it as a real big deal that will contribute to increase my pressure. But if it really are something very big deal then, it's okay. Go and crash heads to the wall. :P

Somehow, it’s undeniable that this kind of conversation does evoke some old feelings, but this is when we have to apply the ‘mind over matter’ technique. We have to know that everything is over now and everything is just left as memories now. Never stir up too much with it because you will never want to lead this to some other thing. Unless you both are single and were back to have each other again. Then, it’s a good thing. But in my case, they are all taken. So I really have to know my limit because I will never want to be the cause of some other people’s quandary. So lets behave good exes. But it is really sweet when we actually admit that there are some special quality; the good qualities in each other which we don’t really realize when we were together. Like the quotes, ‘You never truly appreciate things until they are gone’ – it is so true.

Hence another benefit that we can get by being good to our exes is we will learn to appreciate things. It will help so much in our current or future relationship. Being able to think positively after an unsuccessful relationship will help us to build better one next time. We will learn to consider things, tolerate and to accept each other better. After all, why do we have to be enemies when once upon a time ago, we were something even more than friends? We shared lots of sweet moments together, some are very meaningful that you might not even gonna experience again. So let us just share the every little pieces of us with each other. Well exes, I'm looking forward to attend your weddings :) Will I have a chance to make the special toast as well? :P

So the perfect answer for my post title is; WHY NOT?
Yes or No, you got to decide because not all relationship ends in peace. I understand that they are kind of people who we can't even stand listening to their name! I don't blame you if you hate your ex so much because there must be at least a reason for it, right? So what ever it is, just chill~