Thursday, December 30, 2010

Penyokong Bola Sepak Malaysia Seperti Periuk Api Meledak?

gambar hiasan : bharian.com.my


Kecoh satu Malaya dan seantero dunia, Malaysia buat kali pertamanya menjulang Piala AFF Suzuki. Itu semua sudah sedia maklum. Tetapi tulisan ini bukanlah hendak berdiskusi panjang lebar berkenaan Match First Leg di Bukit Jalil, mahupun Final Leg di GBK Jakarta atau bagaimana sepakan penalti Indonesia diselamatkan Khairul Fahmi yang kini umpama selebriti; begitu HIT dibincangkan! Tulisan ini bukan berkenaan bagaimana prestasi pemain-pemain Malaysia, apatah lagi pemain Indonesia. Bukan juga hendak menulis isu laser-melaser Indonesia-Malaysia yang saya pandang isu kanak-kanak yang riuh diperbesarkan oleh segelintir golongan separa matang. Bukan juga isu dukun-mendukun yang dipropakan media, apatah lagi isu Sotong Kurita Indonesia! Sewaktu mendengar berita lawak tentang sotong kurita Indonesia yang meramal kemenangan Indonesia tersebut, saya sedang memandu sendirian. Hampir sahaja terbabas tergelak guling-guling!

Jadi anda sudah faham kan, tulisan ini tidak bermotif mengulas perkara sedia ada yang hangat diperkatakan di laman sesawang, laman sosial, meskipun di kedai-kedai kopi! It is just a little pieces of everything based on my observation! Tetapi pokok pangkalnya tulisan ini adalah berkenaan pandangan segelintir golongan yang berpendapat :

Tiba-tiba semua orang sokong bola sepak Malaysia?

Tiba-tiba? Ini isu yang hendak saya ketengahkan. Saya akui perkara ini berlaku. Hampir semua orang sibuk mengatakan tentang perkara ini. Ramai yang bersorak riang ria dengan kemenangan pasukan Malaysia. Yang tidak ikut langsung bola sepak Malaysia pun tiba-tiba begitu meriah bangga melompat-lompat sekali. Lantas pandangan sinis dari suara-suara sumbang pun sampai ke telinga saya. Banyak pandangan sinis berkata,
  • Inilah rakyat Malaysia, dah menang baru nak Proud To Be Malaysian!
  • Bila dah menang, baru nak beriya-iya Google pasal pasukan Bola Sepak Malaysia. Sebelum ni, ambil tahu pun tidak!
  • Bila kalah, seorang pun tidak berbunyi. Bila menang, semua pakat-pakat mengaku bangga!
Lantas, perkara ini terus berlegar-legar dalam fikiran saya. Mengapa, mengapa, mengapa perkara ini berlaku? Dan mengapa, mengapa, mengapa ada suara sinis yang meragui semangat patriotik yang muncul tiba-tiba ini akibat fenomena bola sepak? Secara peribadinya, saya gembira dengan fenomena ini.

Lalu saya bentangkan kemungkinan jawapan untuk menjawab persoalan dalam fikiran saya ini. Namun hasil penulisan ini merupakan pendapat peribadi saya semata-mata. Anda yang membaca berhak untuk tidak bersetuju atau menambah apa-apa isi tulisan ini di ruang komen.

Terlebih dahulu saya ingin membincangkan bagaimana hal mengenai bola sepak Malaysia ini menjadi satu fenomena yang umpama Tsunami melanda. Tidak lupa juga pada fenomena TsuFahmi!

Saya merupakan seorang yang mengikuti sukan sejak dari kecil lagi tetapi harus ditekankan disini, bukan ekstremis! Saya mengikuti every little pieces of everything, dari sukan Badminton, Tinju, Sepak Takraw, hinggalah ke Bola Sepak. Terus terang saya katakan, saya tidak mengikuti Bola Sepak seperti EPL dsb. kecuali World Cup. Itu pun hanya sekali lalu sehinggalah Final Match atau Semi Final! Sebab utama, tidak tahan nak menunggu match waktu bukan waktu tempatan dan Final Match lebih meriah! Tetapi selalunya apabila berkesempatan, Piala Malaysia tu wajib! Dan duduk depan TV sepanjang musim Sukan Asia, Sukan Komanwel, Sukan Olimpik, Sukan Sea! -Terus sahaja saya teringat Komanwel 1998 di Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia! Agi Idup Agi Ngelaban by Sapok Biki! :)

Perkara kedua, memang saya ada masalah suka tengok pemain! Okay fine, ini typical! Masa World Cup 2002 di Seoul, saya menggilai pemain Korea Selatan, Ahn Jung Hwan! Dan sejak Final Piala Malaysia 2010, Oktober lalu, Kelantan vs. Negeri Sembilan, petama kalinya saya tidak sibuk memandang pasangan kembar terhangat Malaya, tetapi lebih tertumpu kepada Khairul Fahmi! Penjaga gol Kelantan yang berwajah persis aktor Japang! Sudahlah berwajah Japang, tangkap bola umpama putera katak menangkap lalat! Slurpp! Itu puncanya saya kini dilanda TsuFahmi! Namun rupa paras bukan ukuran, saya turut menggilai Bambang Pamungkas sewaktu dia menyarung jersi Selangor! Baiklah, Bambang pun handsome juga!

Baiklah, sudah tahu kan latar belakang tahap keminatan sukan saya? Saya bersemangat waja, tetapi tidak ekstremis! Tetapi saya tetap antara yang akan duduk 5 minit awal terutamanya apabila Datuk Lee Chong Wei menentang Lin Dan! Sumpah itu memang nervous! Maka saya kategorikan diri saya sebagai MILD sahaja kalau mengikut tahap Nescafe 3 in 1! Dan saya rasa, ramai yang berada dalam kategori saya, terutamanya perempuan! Kami adalah golongan yang sayang mata, maka kami tak tonton Liga Inggeris! :)

Tetapi isunya disini adalah, salahkah rakyat Malaysia tidak kiralah yang baru nak sokong tiba-tiba ke, memang penyokong tegar ke bersama-sama bersorak merai kemenangan ini? Baiklah, ada yang kata salah... Sebab kenapa masa kalah tak sama-sama berduka? Nampak tak perkara ni sama macam dalam kehidupan? Teman bergelak ketawa berjuta, teman berduka seorang pun susah nak jumpa. Itu lumrah. Maafkan kekurangan rakyat kita yang memang lebih suka mengkritik dari mengangkat. Tetapi apabila rakit sudah teguh dibina, ramai pula yang hendak menumpang sama tour sungai Melaka :) Fikir-fikir kan. Padahal kita lah bangsa yang mencipta pepatah, berat sama dijunjung, ringan sama dijinjing. Berat junjung piala je ke nak? :P

Cuma satu perkara yang saya katakan saya GEMBIRA dengan fenomena Harimau Malaya! Berita politik kurang di dada akhbar dan di berita jam 8malam! Sumpah saya bosan dengan isu-isu remeh yang diperbesarkan dalam gelanggang politik negara kita. Apabila semua dah sibuk bola, isu sondol-sondol, tolak-tolak, rampas-rampas, maki hamun pun kurang sikit didedahkan. Mungkin tetap berlaku, tetapi kurang dipropakan! Which is good! Saya tidak merasakan pendedahan buruk perangai dalam kancah politik itu bagus untuk imej negara kita.

Seperkara lagi, tidak mengapalah meskipun penyokong Pasukan Bola Sepak Malaysia tiba-tiba sahaja meledak seperti periuk api yang tiba-tiba dipijak. Saya memang percaya bahawa rakyat Malaysia memang mempunyai semangat patriotik yang sangat tinggi. Tengok sahaja, saya rasa negara kita antara negara yang paling banyak lagu-lagu berunsur patriotik! Beratus-ratus tidak terbilang rasanya! Cuma kadang-kadang rakyat kita seolah-olah malas nak tunjuk sangat. Tidak lupa pada ada yang malu nak ke-Malaysia-an sangat kerana lebih bangga dengan negara luar, produk luar, dan macam-macam lagi dari luar!

Sebab? Tak standard lah, low class lah, atau kekampungan? Dalam perkara ini saya tidak menafikan saya di antara yang berfikiran begitu, kadangkala. Tidak dapat dielakkan, sedikit sebanyak dalam lubuk hati segelintir rakyat Malaysia masih membanggakan apa sahaja yang datang dari luar. Contohnya bahasa? Tulis sikit dalam bahasa Inggeris, macam class sikit! -Oh terasa! Blog saya ini juga berbahasa Inggeris.

Tetapi kenapa perkara seumpama ini berlaku?
Saya berpendapat bahawa kita merupakan negara baru yang masih hijau. Kesan penjajahan membuat kita serba sedikit goyah dengan perkara berkenaan jati diri. Kita penat dipijak. Kita bosan ditindas. Kita mahu berdiri megah. Kita mahu air muka kita dijaga. Kita mahu suara kita didengar. Kita mahu dilihat! Oleh itu kita cuba dengan cara segera = mee segera! Cepat panas, cepat sejuk. Cepat makan, cepat lapar. Contohnya, tiru sahaja dari negara maju, negara barat! Cedok sahaja semuanya. Maka kita akan jadi seperti mereka? Betul atau salah? Kita nilai sendiri. Ini bukan tuduhan. Kalau anda tidak buat tidak mengapa. Saya juga nak tegur diri sendiri.

Remark sedikit :
Best kan tengok negara Jepun, rakyatnya bertatasusila. Civilized! Baiklah mari kita mulakan dengan :
  1. Berdiri di kiri tangga bergerak (escalator) sebab laluan kanan untuk yang hendak mendaki laju.
  2. Pulangkan trolley di trolley bay selepas membeli belah.
  3. Beri laluan orang yang hendak keluar dahulu, baru masuk di evalator / lift dan di KTM, LRT, Monorail, dsb.

Saya terpesong tajuk? Tiba-tiba cakap pasal jati diri? Maksud saya... Meletusnya sokongan tiba-tiba kepada Pasukan Bola Sepak Malaysia terjadi akibat perkara ini lah. Rakyat Malaysia tiba-tiba bangkit menyokong mungkin adalah kerana risau kalah di tangan Indonesia. Kenapa Indonesia? Kenapa dulu lawan Vietname tidak risau sangat? Sebab banyak sangat pertelingkahan berlaku antara Malaysia-Indonesia! Terutamanya di kalangan rakyat kita. Maka semua rakyat Malaysia jadi patriotik lebih dari biasa. Itu perkara biasa. Tak biasa? Baiklah saya bagi situasi sikit. Pernah tengok kanak-kanak bergaduh? Katakan lah ada 3 orang, A, B dan C. Mereka saling tidak kenal antara mereka. Tetapi apabila A dan B bergaduh, tiba-tiba C menyebelahi A walaupun tak kenal sangat sebab mereka sama jantina atau sama kampung, atau sama sekolah atau kolej? Kan dah belajar, bahawa similarity = kesamaan membawa kepada kecenderungan!

Maka tiba-tiba rakyat Malaysia bangkit bersama-sama tidak kira bangsa, agama dan pegangan politik, sorak sama-sama untuk Pasukan Harimau Malaya! Semua mengaum sama! Seperkara lagi, saya berpendapat, rakyat Malaysia memang sukakan fenomena rasanya! Contohnya fenomena Akademi Fantasia, Mawi, dsb. Hal ini saya belum fikirkan lagi. Nanti lah ya! Dan oh ya, semasa saya LIKE Facebook Khairul Fahmi Che Mat, baru dalam hampir 40 ribu sahaja. Tetapi tiba-tiba, 110,660 People Like This pagi ini! This is totally a WOW!

p/s Adik saya berumur 11 tahun juga tiba-tiba off Wii, main kt Playstation dan PSP nya, cari game bola! Siap namakan team dia Harimau Malaya dan customize warna jersi, tukar semua nama player jadi skuad kebangsaan? :)


:: kalau bukan kita, siapa lagi? ::

maaf di atas kepincangan struktur penulisan saya, kan sudah saya katakan,
it's a little pieces of everything!
Ampun dan maaf penutup kata.
Sekian, Terima Kasih :)
Majulah Sukan Untuk Negara!




cogan kata hari ini, tiba-tiba!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Wow! It has been ages!

Look up there at the title, yeah! It has been really awhile since last I get this place updated. Why? I guess too many things came at once. My time management still, at the very poor level. I really need to do something with it. Somehow, if I were to be compared to others, I am not at the lowest bottom level of poor time management, but as my mom and dad always reminded me since I was a kid; never compare yourself to someone who are worst from you in this kind of matter. You won't go anywhere thinking you are not that stupid because you at least get the 39th place out of 40 pupils in your class! NO!

But for certain thing, you really need to make yourself think the other way round. For an example when you envy too much of beautiful people around you. You keep questioning why didn't I have that nice beautiful legs like her? Nice sharp nose like her? Shining manageable hair like her? or beautiful skin like her? Stop right there. In this case, you gotta make yourself think like this. "Oh come on. At least I have a pair of working legs that can walk me everywhere I want to go. I can climb up the stairs without any difficulty, I can run, jump up high, I can walk around the mall. Look at those disable people, there is so many great places that they could not reach with their disabilities. What if I complain too much, then one day this ugly legs will be taken from me and I could not walk like usual anymore?"

See, this is the power of thinking. Manipulate the way we think to make us feel better, (whenever necessary) to make us feel worth living or sometimes to relief the stress that burden our mind. As I have always mentioned before in my previous posts, it is the 'Mind Over Matter' technique that could save us in many circumstances. Eventually, we have to know when should we compare things and how should we compare things. Comparison may lead us to higher success and achievement by boosting our self esteem or can downgrade us to the lowest bottom line of esteem. So, compare with ethics. You should know the way.



Currently reading:
The Gem Collection: A Compilation of Wisdom
Author : Joseph T.Bismark


Product ID : 9789834216733
Format : Paperback
Publisher : Rhythm House Publishing Sdn. Bhd.
Main Category : SELF DEVELOPMENT
Sub Category : MOTIVATIONAL/INSPIRATIONAL
Price : RM 44.90

Fear should not stop us from achieving the goals we have set. - Josepth T. Bismark

Saturday, August 07, 2010

when a lover like me talks about love?

Hey readers!
I've been all packed with schedule and things around.
To be exact, very packed!
But I will still find time to get this blog moving.

Okay come on. Here we go,
Seriously, I can't resist this!
You Took My Heart Away!
I'm so in love!
I mean with this song!
I still love this song after so many years since I first heard this.
like maybe 10 or 12 years ago...
It's so heart melting, wonderfully composed with so meaningful lyrics.






It's such a great song, feeling like falling in love by just listening to this song. But I only can sincerely hope that one could really fall in love so true and stay strong just like it says. This is a really one funny world...and its so hard to find true love. And if u do, you're the most fortunate one out there! Because I always remind myself that the love as I perceived only happens in movies...


However listening to this song makes me feel great... Actually I believe that love exists. So this song goes to all who has loved, been loved, is in love and will be in love!!! For me, love is a gift of life. You simply just know it when you feel it. It is about having this one ordinary someone that you just want to look at and feel so free inside when being with together. You can inhale real deep and exhale freely, healing and feel really like at home...


'Holding your hand, I won't fear tomorrow'...

That is what or how love should make we feel, not to be burden up with all the problems that hustles our life all through. Love should be light, easy, breezing and comforts. May love be kind to all :)


Really Hate It So Much When..
They said they love each other, but the-never-ending-fighting?
Using love for some other sake and manipulate things around.
Some people even cheat to be a part in the game of love.
Some people are not even participating.
Some people finds love and relationship burdens them.
Some people just took so much from it and not giving at all.
Some people still stay and lie to be in love with, but don't even feel it at all.
Just for the sake of something, people uses love up to that extent.



A: "There should be a pill that you can take to make love go away."
B: "Why would you want to make love go away? It's hard enough to find it in the first place."

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

wrong person, wrong time

Bonsoir,
It has been a while since the last update,
yes I know.
Nothing much to write plus the tight schedule that I have this semester.
Oh degree, please end faster. Missing the working environment!
(haha padahal keje kejap je pun kan. kekwat lebih tau!)

Somehow had lots of fun at Cameron Highlands last week.
Maybe will be going again this week with my fam,
later on the 1st October too with the publishing club, insyaallah.
Too much of Cameron this time.
It's similar to what happened to me in 2007.
Penang all the way.
Went once with the Manis Band for Gegar U,
again with my family,
and again with the classmates.
Aku, kau & Penang sgt! Hahaha :P

p/s need to be more hardworking for this semester, syaz. it seems to be really tough.
no play2 please!
...

As I always said before;
I can close my eyes to the things I do not want to see,
but I can't close my heart to the things I do not want to feel...
How much longer will it take to cure this? sigh~
I know it won't last long (as I usually experienced).
So, to the unnecessary + unwanted thingy,
please end faster as it's really bothering + annoying.



s'il vous plaƮt aller loin!

Monday, July 05, 2010

Simply missing Andy...


He was too young to die.
He was a beautiful and talented soul of a man.
He was such a wonder, he was such a sweetheart.

I love this song so much and wishing I can live in that time,
those were the decent days with great music.

Turn back the clock, I just want to be your everything,
ANDY GIBB
Rest In Peace

Andy died on 10 March 1988,
just five days after his 30th birthday as a result of myocarditis,
an inflammation of the heart muscle due to a recent viral infection.




p/s life is so fragile and precious

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos - Doug Coupland

I simply want to share this beautiful story below with my dear beloved readers. I am trying to understand why do we always tend to blame others? Does it make us feel much better in some way? This is the question weaving its way around and through my mind. So far, I have no answer other than: we refuse to accept responsibility because it is easier to blame others for causing our reactions, rather than admit that we chose them.
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.

What do you think were the four words?
You think it would be "You to be blame" ?
Or "What have you done?"
Or maybe "It is your fault!"?
No!

The husband just said "I Love You Darling", and tried to comfort and calm the wife.
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to keep the bottle away, this will not have happened. No point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn't forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Don't multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to forgiveness.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. We should take off all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

p/s blaming others is a really bad bad habit, so let us reduce it, stop it.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Bonsoir!

French?
Am I ready for it?
I am not sure about this actually. Will it be tough?
Urgh~ I'm so scared.
Je ne sais pas.

Anyhow I'd like to share few great, wonderful songs,
As we know, music is an international language :)





more to share, but later k :)
Bonne nuit~

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

don't ask me why, it is just that i haven't met any yet!

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility
And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I'll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh, promise you, kidTo give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven't met you yet




the thought that counts

i just got my very first salary in life today!
(kesian, bataq sikit. org x pernah keje kan haha)

so...dinner with family @ monrods tonight yeee~
*sorry fams, gaji ciput kan, so tu je lah yg termampu hehe :P

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Officially 22 ~

11th of June 1989 : wish it's just yesterday :)


I am thankful for all the tears I have cried for they have taught me to appreciate laughter and they have given me the ability to see the joy that comes after. I'm very thankful to be doing what I'm doing; therefore syukur Alhamdulillah :)

I am thankful for all the relationships, for the good and yes, for the bad and no, for they have given life to my emotions, as an appreciation of what I have had. I am thankful for the pain as I have known it has given a compassion for the suffering, an ability to reach out to others and an appreciation of little things.

Thank You.


*11th of june 2010,
I'm thankful to be breathing, on this side of the grass. Whatever comes, comes.
* 3.78, i love you!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I failed to fulfill my promises, sorry :(

Dear blog,

It has been so hectic that I could not find a perfect moment to get myself to note down the things that I want to share up here. Even this is not even a perfect moment as I am actually right here, on my office's desk writing these things down. (okay, tipu... pinjam desk abg office coz pc kt my desk is especially utk system key in stock smua. so tamau kacau).

So till we meet again, take good care :))

another rainy cool breezing day reminiscent me of my good childhood days ...
how i miss to enjoy those moments :)

With Lots of Love :D

Thursday, May 13, 2010

it's time to fulfill my promises!!! but let me take my sweet time please :))

I am back from I-Am-All-Here-Actually :)

Thanks for those who still pay visits to this lefted blog. I have been so busy lately that I could not find perfect time to write down what I wish I could share with all of you up here. But somehow, I finally click on the 'New Post' button even though I have to get myself to office much earlier than usual tomorrow morning. That's me. Sometimes I'll do things when I am not suppose to do. Sometimes I'd say yes when I should say no and I'd simply say no when I actually really want to say yes. Weird, I know. But there must be at least a reason for those, so I bet I have one. :)

Anyway, the final examination is all ruined. Honestly I did not do well in any paper. So I am just wishing for miracles to happen. I did so badly in my Economics paper, I wrongly answered an essay question. I misunderstood the question. The Principle of Translations' paper was okay. Only okay. One of the worst paper ever is Marketing! I dunno what I actually scribbled all the way. Please be lineant while marking my paper. I know it's my fault, but all your 21 chapters was so so so not being kind to me when I was covering those. Psychology was okay, but I did not feel the satisfaction at all. So I don't hope for that too. And the winner of MOST IRRITATING PAPER is, International Advertising! GREAT, I hate it so much!!! Thanks for ruining up my life. Media Design & Publishing was... No comment. Graphic Layout was fun during the tutorials, weekly assignments, final project, but... the Final Paper? No comment.

Okay, enough about the exams. What's past is past. All I can do is to hope. Hope for the best, but still.. Gotta prepare for the worst. It's okay, we can never forever be on the top. Somehow, someday, somebody else gotta be there and that is when we have to feel the feelings of being on the bottom side of situation or life. That is just how life circulate and works on us. So let it be. Being on the bottom will surely boost up my spirit of fighting to get up and stand again. I won't let the 'be at the bottom' last that long because I might lost my sense of self-appreciation and also... of course, self-esteem. It's hard to gain that, u know. To make yourself believe that we can do it or we are capable to do the things that we thought we can't. Okay, I'm scribbling craps now. :P

Okay finish about examinations... So about my new work? I am currently working at my university's press, Unit Penerbitan UiTM (UPENA). It is a publishing department under UiTM. So this is my first week. I have lots to say about it, but maybe later. Let me observe, adapt and identify what I need to, first. I hope for the best in what I am doing now. I really need lots more working experience, I need those for my resume, also knowledge and experiences that I can apply for my future. Besides that, it teaches me how to get along with new people, new environment, especially people from different places and background. It brushes up my communication and PR skills. So, that's really good. Not forgetting, the networking purposes. We all do that, oh come on~ We need each other to live and to succeed. We don't live on our own, alone, remote... So that is the importance of getting to know peoples around. :)

# Okay, I have an important meeting tomorrow (need to assist the BIG BOSS) so I need to go now. I'll be writing more tomorrow :) ...and fulfill my posts promises :))

Good Day!

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

dear blog,

i promise myself to get this place update
once i am done with my final papers.
i have lots to share up here.
the car clamp case 1,
the car clamp case 2,
the KL book fair 2010,
series of tripped down and fall.
nur lembah pangsun team building,
the hives,
lots lots more.
(i always have lots of things in my mind at the wrong place,
but when i am here, i forgot everything off)

p/s working experience for this 2 months' semester break. any idea?

Monday, February 22, 2010

go with your heart with the guidance of brain?

"There is nothing more painful than
to let you're feelings take you down

because it's so hard to know the way you feel inside
when there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide..."
- A Shoulder To Cry On by Tommy Page

I still have this very deep curiosity,
about how feelings (wants) can go against the thinking (brain)
and how thinking (brain) can go against the feelings (wants).

So, as for now,
let me name our feelings (wants) as nafsu,
while our thinking (brain) as akal.

How usually this two elements will split the person into two options to decide. Which to follow?

There are times when wants could give extra-ordinary drive to people who needed self-motivations and inspirations. It is just like the very common example of an old lady could run very fast, beyond her or even our expectations when there is a dog barking, chasing her. Things like this goes beyond the logical thinking of a human being. But the deep wants drive could lead to this kind of magnificent thing to happen.

Pepatah Melayu,
Dimana ada kemahuan, disitu ada jalan.
Hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih.

So it's hard to choose.
There are times when the things that we wanted so much
is the thing that the heart wants so much,
but the logical brain go against and stop us to do so.

the heart only knows what the heart wants
and the brain should play the role in controlling,
to create balance and to differ human from animals.



Follow your brain, you might stand up genius,
but not necessarily correct.
Follow your heart, you may feel better,
but not necessarily good choice.
So should I combine both and make a truth, most satisfying decision?
you can never find absolute, maximum satisfaction in life.
-see, my brain is functioning logically, again.



Why do I still want when I'm very clear and know that I really shouldn't? Who to be blame?

Friday, February 19, 2010

should ex lovers be friends?


I wonder why do I always have good relationship with my exes after all the issues between us is settled. We'll simply talk bout things around, ask opinions about lots of things especially about new lovers or even considering whether to accept new lovers or not! sigh~

Well, I am writing this down because the 3rd case just came in! After all it's a good thing to catch up about each other after some period of time. It's kinda reminisce old memories, the old you to be exact. But still I wonder why do we make better friends when everything is over compared to the time when were more than friends. I guess we just do good as friends. Maybe 'relationship' has brought both of us too much pressure which actually beyond our capability to deal with. Maybe it's the commitment issue, loyalty, trust and situation around oblige both of us to that not really good endings. But it's okay, I always have this one positive thinking to bear with this exes issues. Well like the one I posted in the previous post: 'ex lover : the game over story', that we have to think the positive side of everything in order to have better days ahead.


Being friends with exes is just an okay thing to me because that person might know me better than others. Even good friends should be the one who knows us in and out, but in this case of an ex, it's about some kind of different perspective. We may be a little different dealing with this two different person; a good friend and a lover. We don't aspect too much of commitment with friends compared to the commitment we entail from a person we are in a relationship with. We may share different chapter of life with this two person, even we may not be that much sensitive being with friends.


So an ex should have really different or maybe extra perspectives on our-self. Therefore being good with exes is like having extra mirror that can give us better reflection about what should we do or shouldn’t. Our weakest and strongest point. After all we also might not have that much of ego and will simply be true because everything is over, right? There’s nothing much to keep, to expect, so we will just be transparent to each other.
My first one contacted me back after about 3 months we’re over. The second one took longer, about 8 months because we had a real crucial situation when we broke up. And third one is about a year after. Though we did contacted each other in between but it wasn’t really the real conversations like what we had today.

Undeniable it was little gawky at first but when we start to get comfortable and open up to each other, we did it good. We talk about common things, asking how well does each other are doing after that broke up and as we talk about life, studies, works and world around, we even jokes around about each other. We even tease each other about how we were back then when we’re in that relationship and we laugh out loud listening to each comments.
We even discussed about the wrong turns we both made through out the unsuccessful relationship. We both agreed that we should take that as a lesson for guidance in the future.

From that, we can both clearly see how time has grown us up. It is so true that things happen for reason. It will somehow change us to be a better person someday. So as we joke around, we realized how childish we were those time. We say things we shouldn’t and many more things that was once a serious issue those time, but now is something that we can laugh at. Problems and issues can be jokes after some period of time. That is why when some issue occurs in the middle of my life, I will try hard to take it easy as I always remind myself that the biggest thing today is just a matter of nothing someday. So I do not want to take it as a real big deal that will contribute to increase my pressure. But if it really are something very big deal then, it's okay. Go and crash heads to the wall. :P

Somehow, it’s undeniable that this kind of conversation does evoke some old feelings, but this is when we have to apply the ‘mind over matter’ technique.
We have to know that everything is over now and everything is just left as memories now. Never stir up too much with it because you will never want to lead this to some other thing. Unless you both are single and were back to have each other again. Then, it’s a good thing. But in my case, they are all taken. So I really have to know my limit because I will never want to be the cause of some other people’s quandary. So lets behave good exes. But it is really sweet when we actually admit that there are some special quality; the good qualities in each other which we don’t really realize when we were together. Like the quotes, ‘You never truly appreciate things until they are gone’ – it is so true.

Hence another benefit that we can get by being good to our exes is we will learn to appreciate things. It will help so much in our current or future relationship. Being able to think positively after an unsuccessful relationship will help us to build better one next time. We will learn to consider things, tolerate and to accept each other better. After all, why do we have to be enemies when once upon a time ago, we were something even more than friends? We shared lots of sweet moments together, some are very meaningful that you might not even gonna experience again. So let us just share the every little pieces of us with each other. Well exes, I'm looking forward to attend your weddings :) Will I have a chance to make the special toast as well? :P

So the perfect answer for my post title is; WHY NOT?
Yes or No, you got to decide because not all relationship ends in peace. I understand that they are kind of people who we can't even stand listening to their name! I don't blame you if you hate your ex so much because there must be at least a reason for it, right? So what ever it is, just chill~

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Nightmare Detective 1 & 2 : Two Thumbs Up!


However personally I'd prefer the first one much better than the 2nd one. For me, (my own interpretation) the first one is about the inner conflict that happened to a person who decided to commit suicide. It portrays that such people who decided to take their own life without giving the 2nd chance to themselves is a coward. Lacking of strenght to face the future and being not responsible for what they have done today. For me, the plot plays around the human mind's (basically the conscious and the unconscious mind). The needs and the wants of a person. Here are few things that I discovered and interested to read more on:

1. How unconscious mind plays the role to control the conscious and effect the everyday life of a person.

2. People who are about to commit suicide still run for their life when they are been attack. Wow! I thought you wanted to die so much? (What has this got to do with the brain function, mind and psychology of self defense; the fight or flight response).

3. How we can actually control our mind. (To put a border line between the conscious and unconscious. Controlling the superiority of Ego, Super Ego and Id; in order to have all in balance). How somebody who faces lots of stress and go through too much of depression still can survive mentally healthy (undeniable; maybe only with some minor damage inside). This is about the power of having self in control. This may answer the questions on why do some teenagers are prone to get involve in crimes, social problems while the other half just don't. Is it only due to the environmental effects? or actually it has other factor that contributes one's to do so.

4. How true about we are being our number 1# enemy. (based on the explicit and profound connection between speech and language theory of mind of Lev Vygotsky that tells us how the inner speach may defect the outter self presentation of a person). -I am interested in the studies of self-talk by Lev Vygotsky.

Well maybe some may have experienced this; you wanted something so much, but there's something inside tells you not to do so or not to have it. Like... don't buy, don't go, etc. The inner speaks to our mind. The inner sometimes speaks louder than voice. Maybe some would say it is the language of the instinct, the voices from the heart. Maybe. But why it has something against the brain decision sometimes? Why do some people having very hard time deciding something? Bad decision maker.

After all, this is all just pieces of something that I loves to think about. It's just that I hated it so much when I travels my own thinking and start thinking of what I'm thinking. -I shouldn't do so. So everytime I am about to do so, I stop all of my current thinking process.

We should avoid traveling - in our thoughts.
by Adam Phillips


self archive: yesterday, I was walking around the mall with ripped jeans coz I accidently tripped, fell down and slashed my knees on that rough surface. so now i have torn jeans + torn knees :(

next post: i wanted to write so much about memories. what it takes to keep them, why do we preserve them and how. don't you think memories is such a wonder? till then, take care and chill~

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Open Your Eyes by Maher Zain


It is just a piece of something to share.


Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have. I'm wishing you all the joy and happiness that you can ever wish :)

the smith 1980's



The Smith :)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

love conquers all :)

"It can be confusing. It can be complicated.
But at the end of the day, it's all about love."

two thumbs UP!
but bradley cooper....? urghh :(
laugh out loud, prepare for suprises, tear a lil, walk out with big smiles :)

Thursday, February 04, 2010

hypochondriac, am i?

I'm currently suffering from some kind of stiff neck problem (including shoulder and back pain). So I was kinda worried and spent almost 2 hours just now reading about neck, neck problems, neck pains and few more related matters. I traveled from site to site, from medical and health sites, medical practitioners to personal blogs of people who suffered from the symptoms that I am having now. Well, I gotta say that it is so me. I will usually loves to do some readings regarding any related health matter that occurred along my daily life, whether it is about myself or about others around me. It has become a habit or it must be a nature that I love to know about things because I need to know, at least just knowing what it is, is good enough. 

But it never made me a super knowing lots about health and medicine that I should go to a medical school or whatsoever. I have never scored good marks for my science papers like biology, physics, especially chemistry! Never able to find ways to have good chemistry with chemistry! Seriously. I have never at all can get along with my Mathematics and Additional Mathematics subjects during schools. So being a pure science student in a pure science's class have tortured me to the maximum level ever.

So back to the 'want to know' habit, as I've said that it is so me that I will have the urge to read or listen or want to know about the related matters that happened to me or people around me. Okay, call me paranoid that I have read lots and lots about ankle because I once believe that I have some kind of problem with my ankle that I keep having it sprained over and over again. So I need to get myself to know about it and find ways how can I overcome this matter until I finally decide that it maybe a post-traumatic effect due to past sports injuries. It's clearly been said that once we had our ankle sprained, it will usually never going to be the last because of we usually take advantage on sprained ankle's care and thought that it will recover soon and we can jump, walk and run again as usual. This is where we are wrong because a sprained ankle that have not completely recovered will easily get sprained again, again and over again. 

So I don't see any wrongs that I've read lots about ankle because I'm annoyed about having it sprained few times over and over again (not too frequent, but at least once in a year or two). So I really need to know about it. I need to know about my body or else who would care to know about it for me then? But don't get me wrong, I don't really read like doing research in-depth or very detail, it's just briefly bout it, the symptoms, causes, medications and what does others said about it. I will also usually read about how bad can it turn later, about the precautions and what ever else necessary. I guess, this habit is due to my uneasy feelings or laziness to meet doctors that I would prefer to do readings. But of course I am very aware that readings through books, journals and internet won't give exact prescriptions and solutions. It will still be best to see the doctor itself and have a two way communication session to fix the problems.

Well, besides ankle, some of the readers might still remember that I have an entry posted about canker sores. It also due to my own self experience on keep getting it over and over again that I really need to know about it. But I think that it's really good to know about it because I seriously never know that canker sores appeared due to stress which maybe due to menstrual, and I have never know at all that it is in our family genes (genetic factors). So I will never complain much and feeling so despair about it when it happen again. This one habit makes me feel much comfortable in overcoming matters like this and to cope with situations that related to health and body functions.

Furthermore this one habit helps me in understanding things that people been talking about, no matter what it is. At least I have little knowledge here and there and will never make me a completely blur person when it comes to placenta previa, endometriosis, bone fractured, cyst, thyroid, high blood preassure, stroke, slip disc and many more. Well I don't see any rational that being who I am made me a hypochondriac person. I wasn't that too concern to death that I will die soon with little canker sores in my mouth! I am just being concern and have this eagerness to know about things around. That's all.

*hypochondriac - hypochondriasis (or hypochondria, often referred to as health phobia) refers to an excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious illness. Usually people who suffered this will have obsessive precautions on their health - like being outdoor can brings harm to their health, they can easily gets Hiv, etc.

well, hey check this out!
You Are 24% Hypochondriac
While your physical health isn't always perfect, you don't freak out about it.
You know there's only so much you can do, and worrying doesn't change anything.

Monday, February 01, 2010

12.34 am

So many things, so many reasons to stay away, but here I am, writing again. With so many incomplete tasks, oh assignments. I have been not touching any today. Hoping for tomorrow will be a good fine day for me to get things settle since. From that sleep disorder paper research to that brochure design and essays to complete up. Many more. I need to really list it down and paste it on my study table, bold in red. Okay, enough about those. Here we go, a must watch film, 'Valentine's Day'. I must get myself to watch this on it's first day, that's for sure.
It seems that it's gonna be as superb as 'Love Actually'. With those very long list of promising cast, it seems really great! 'Valentine's Day' is kinda starring practically everyone in Hollywood! The kings and the queens of romantic comedy genre. Starring big name cast, Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Shirley MacLaine, Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Topher Grace, Emma Roberts, Hector Elizondo, Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane, Taylor Lautner, Carter Jenkins, Taylor Swift, Jamie Foxx, Queen Latifah and not forgetting Joe Jonas! Anyway, we'll see how, whether it's gonna work with this piece or not.

but for me personally, i'm just gonna sing this song all along :)
..."Show me what love is, haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true
Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing live"...

-love is one big illusion, maybe i should try to forget-

Panorama, Look Out Point Ampang
:)

Friday, January 29, 2010

'was a good great game' ~ kakakahh



next : badminton, swimming, squash and more of tennis maybe? hahahahakkss!
:P

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

we are our own greatest worst enemy?

Buckminster Fuller said "You never change anything by fighting the existing. To change something, build a new model and make the existing obsolete.

When we fear too much of making mistakes to avoid from getting hurt, blamed, failure, pain, rejection, we are actually fear of fear. By not letting ourself to experience the darkness from the light, we might never know how dark is dark and how bright is bright. Fear can keep us away from danger, but fear can also stop us from progressing.

Bertrand once said that fear is one of the main sources of cruelty and to conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. Mean while, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, "Fear and guilt are the only enemies of man" and of course, most famously of all, Franklin Roosevelt said,"We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

Our Greatest Fear
Giving Yourself Permission To Feel

Feelings are a lot like children; we can honor their feelings – but we do not give them the keys to the car!



It seems that what people fear more than anything is not crime, illness or even death. The greatest fear is our own feelings, especially the loneliness, helplessness and insignificance. Although we all feel them at times, few people know how to cope with their presence. As children, these feelings seemed scary because we identified with them; they represented our reality, our very identity. They seemed enormously important. We talked about them for hours with anyone who would listen. We had no idea what else to do with what seemed like intolerable pain. No one told us that it was okay to simply feel them. Rather, we may have been ridiculed as immature.

We are programmed to think that to feel anything other than happy, confident and successful means that we must be lacking in faith or suffering from an emotional disorder. The drug companies capitalize on the fear of "bad" feelings by telling us that if they are not eliminated, terrible things will happen to us. So we tend to think of bad feelings as monsters that can kidnap us at any moment and plunge us into insanity and despair as we wait helplessly for some drug, event or person to pull us out of the pits.

Most of us learned to valiantly stifle feelings, put on a happy face and act as if "It doesn't hurt," when we flunked a test, were ridiculed by a teacher, ignored by a parent or snubbed by a peer. But these things hurt. If we could not share our feelings and receive validation, we might have felt we were crazy or stupid for not knowing how to be "cool" like the more popular, cynical types who seemed not to be burdened with intense feelings. No wonder people try to numb feelings with drugs or addictions!

However, there is a better way. Emotional multi-tasking means giving ourself permission to feel, without shame or guilt, and identify what messages the painful feelings have come to give us. We all experience endless losses, frustrations and disappointments. We will all feel betrayed, lonely, abused, insulted, abandoned and cheated. Only criminals are lacking in feelings. Inevitably, we will burn with rage, be crazed with grief or feel shriveled by rejection and failure. While we are supposed to feel joy about our ability to keep smiling, this is not to deny our heartbreak. This is called emotional multi-tasking.

Emotional multi-tasking means that we give ourselves permission to feel, without shame or guilt, and identify what messages the painful feelings have come to give us. Once we figure out the message, we can just let the feelings be and continue to function to the best of our ability, with the pain.

It is important to think of an e-motion as energy in motion. Emotions are meant to move us, to take protective action, do something creative or communicate with someone caring. For example, if someone insults us, it won't help to tell ourself, "Don't feel." The hurt is our emotional reality. However, we can choose to:
a) shrug it off as insignificant,
b) let the person know that we feel hurt, or
c) keep a protective distance while allowing ourself to feel the pain of a lost relationship.

Or, let's say we feel exhausted. After acknowledging the feeling, ask: "Can I push myself a bit more? Am I merely bored and need to get involved in some stimulating activity? Or do I really need to sleep?" Don't argue with feelings; do look at where they are taking us.

If a child says, "I hate my teacher," it won't help to say, "You're not allowed to hate." His feelings won't change; he now feels ashamed or angry that he cannot share, making him feel isolated and rejected on top of the hurt he is already feeling. What he needs is validation and compassion. By learning to multi-task, we build tolerance for the painful feelings which dwell within us. We can trust that the intensity will rise and fall on its own, without any intervention on our part, if we keep our beliefs and behaviors positive! Children cannot do this "juggling act." But we can! It's the DVI approach:
A. DEFINE: "Yes, I feel scared, hurt, lonely, rejected, betrayed, stifled, frustrated, etc."
B. VALIDATE: "I am not bad or crazy. It is normal to feel this way at such times. I have a right to feel hurt. I will 'hold' the pain for as long as it wants to be held, like a hurt child, without judgment and without fear or shame."
C. INSPIRE WITH COURAGEOUS ACTION OR FAITH: "I will use the pain as an impetus to action, such as music, art or doing acts of kindness or will focus on developing my spiritual powers - humility, compassion, etc." Feelings are a lot like children; we can honor their feelings – but we do not give them the keys to the car! The "adult" must stay in control. To do so, it is helpful to adopt certain disciplines, such as:

RULE 1: ACCEPT ALL FEELINGS FEARLESSLY:
We're given with a broad range of feeling tones, each of which contributes to our depth and complexity as human beings. Just as the eighty-eight keys on a piano allow for a magnificent variety of musical sounds, we have high and low tones – from ecstasy and inspiration to rage and apathy.

When a painful feeling arises, Feelings are a lot like children; we can honor their feelings – but we do not give them the keys to the car! Whether it is outrage, despair or anxiety, allow it to "swoosh" through your body like a river. Do not try to restrain it. Give yourself permission to feel the raw pain. Think: "God is with me, accepting me as I am, right now. He loves me, whether I feel it or not." If you keep saying the words, then the pain will begin to fade at some point. When this happens, think, "Wow, I survived."

RULE 2: PUSH FORWARD:
When the acute phase has passed, push ourself to do something (anything!) positive that proves that we have control over some aspect of our life. This can be as small as flossing teeth or as big as forcing ourself to get to work. It's like the moment when the nurse walks in after an operation and forces you out of bed before you feel ready, knowing that staying in bed can cause blood clots. We can function with discomfort. Be proud of any positive acts we can manage to do despite the heartbreak. At times, just getting through the next hour takes enormous courage. See ourself as heroic for bearing the discomfort. (I will usually do room cleaning for this, it works!)

RULE 3: BE EMOTIONALLY MODEST:
Researchers have found that sharing painful feelings for about 15 minutes causes a pleasurable rise in hormonal levels, but more than that will intensify feelings of self-pity and despair. So give ourself a time limit. Do not share feelings with people who will think that we are untrustworthy, stupid or insane

RULE 4: REFUSE TO SPECULATE ABOUT THE FUTURE:
Is Iran going to strike first? Will the price of gas go higher? Will the marriage work out? If we find ourself speculating anxiously about possible future disasters over which we have no control, firmly tell ourself that "I refuse to go down that dark mental alley. God gives me precisely what I need." Leave the future in His hands - unless we can take actual steps to protect or advance ourself, like getting a job, taking out insurance or avoiding junk food.

RULE 5: BECOME EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT:
We'll never get all the love, understanding or appreciation we might crave. In fact, no one ever understands anyone completely. Assume that people are, "Doing the best they can with their present level of emotional intelligence and life experiences."

RULE 6: GROW FROM IT:
If we feel depressed, we should get busy! If we feel hostile, we should take protective action. If we feel jealous, let it be a catalyst for self-refinement, i.e., "I'm jealous of people who are kind and generous; I want to be like that." We really need to learn from what we see, we hear and we come across in everyday life. We really need to observe.

RULE 7: USE EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE (EFT)
EFT is a great way to multi-task. It teaches us to acknowledge our feelings while choosing new beliefs and actions. For example:
FAKE IT: "Even though I'm anxious about being fired, I choose to do my best at work and talk the 'faith talk' to strengthen me and my family's perspective."

DO KINDNESS: "Even though I feel lonely and useless, I choose to volunteer at a charitable organization. Even if I'm just sticking labels on food parcels, it helps to be with people who appreciate my efforts."

STICK TO A SCHEDULE: "Even though I hate having this mood disorder, I choose to stick to my schedule of sleeping, eating, praying and working in order to create a sense of stability during unstable times."

FACE REALITY: "Even though I don't want my children to suffer maternal deprivation, I choose to face reality – lots of debts and a husband who says he is too depressed to work – and choose to find a job."

BE PROTECTIVE: "Even though I wish I could change this critical person, I choose to acknowledge that her presence is like poison to me and that I have the right to distance myself physically and emotionally."

BE GRATEFUL: "Whenever I start fantasizing about the person I might have married, I choose to remind myself that since God made this happen, He knew that this was for my best."

VALIDATE YOUR NEEDS: "Even though I'd like to be more outgoing, I choose to validate that I am an introvert and don't need to feel ashamed of the fact that I need a lot of quiet, private time for myself." - Sometimes, it is very tiring to try being someone else. Why should we? Just live the way we want it to be and smile.

BE RESPONSIBLE: "Instead of constantly berating myself for not being an organized superwoman, I choose to accept that I am organizationally challenged and need outside help."

In other words: Meet pain with compassion. Then focus on a positive act or thought to gain some distance and keep yourself from getting stuck in the quicksand.

Emotional multi-tasking means giving yourself permission to feel,
without shame or guilt, and identify what messages the painful feelings have come to give you.


:)